Mmmmm

Anne's margarita recipe might just be the best one I've tasted. It's classy. It's a margarita that belongs in a sophisticated bar, not some almost-gooey mess in a pitcher that you swill with Mexican food that's just a notch above Taco Bell. Case closed.

Moving on to the martini — I've never been a gin fan, so usually I opt for a vodka martini, which some people say is not even actually a martini. In the spirit of experimentation, though, I mixed up one of each, and was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked the gin. (I used Tanqueray - would that make a difference?)

So I'm sticking with that for now. Tanqueray, vermouth, an olive, and a splash of olive juice — because martinis, like life, are best when a little dirty.

Margarita
Manly or girly? Girly enough that a guy needs to be with a gal, and they order them together.
Appearance: Light green
Consistency: A little syrupy
Taste: Lemon lime tequila yes!
Good drink for: Afternoons on the patio
Stomach acceptance: Bueno
Hangover factor: High
Would I actually order this in public? Under the proper circumstances

Martini
Manly or girly? Studly
Appearance: Clear, or slightly muddied by olive juice
Consistency: Liquid
Taste: Straight vodka or gin, with the edge slightly taken off
Good drink for: Bribing Mayor Oscar Goodman
Stomach acceptance: Ja
Hangover factor: Hangover? A few of these and I'm still drunk the next morning
Would I actually order this in public? Absolutely

Confirmation: It sucks

I was in Fiji once. Being on a South Pacific island, I figured a Mai Tai would be appropriate. Bad idea. I finished the sugar drink, sure — I didn't want to be rude — but immediately switched back the home-grown Fijian beer, which is quite tasty.

The second time around wasn't much better. Rum, more rum, Triple Sec, pineapple juice, sour mix, and a little more of my walnut flavoring (it's supposed to be creme de almond, but I refuse to buy anything with "creme" in the name). Yup, supersweet. Blech. And I didn't even put a cherry in it.


Manly or Girly? All-the-way female
Appearance: Mine was kind of a rusty brown; not sure if that's the right color
Consistency: A little on the syrupy side
Taste: Blech.
Stomach acceptance: Fine, but I can accept almost anything.
Good drink for: Pretending you're having a cocktail.
Hangover factor: Medium.
Would I actually order this in public? Never, ever again.

Homemade Hurricane

To tell the truth, I was dreading this drink. I've had a few Hurricanes at Pat O'Brien's and found them to be overly sweet, sticky red ripoffs. Their only saving grace is that they're the least girly drink on a menu so girly you should have to put on a dress to order. (Except for the Bloody Mary, of course.)

But there's more than one way to make a Hurricane.

Here's the recipe I used: 1 ounce each of vodka, gin, light rum, Amaretto and Triple Sec, plus half an ounce of Bacardi 151. (Seems like overkill, but what do you want? It's in the recipe.) Add grapefruit juice and pineapple juice, then top with Grenadine.

I substituted orange juice for pineapple juice, and it worked just fine.

This mixed into a fresh, sweet cocktail with almost no alcohol taste at all. Take that, you French Quarter tourist trap!

Here's an Emeril Lagasse recipe I found for making Hurricanes for a group:

12 ounces light rum
12 ounces dark rum
10 ounces Grenadine
10 ounces orange juice
10 ounces sour mix or lime juice
3 tbsp fine sugar
One orange

Stir all the ingredients except the orange, then cut up the orange and drop it in.

Manly or Girly? Still girly
Appearance: shades of red, pink and yellow
Consistency: regular cocktail
Taste: Sweet, slightly fruity
Stomach acceptance: Fine
Good drink for: Watching the krewes roll by
Hangover factor: High. Also high — chance of bright red projectile vomit.
Would I actually order this in public? No, but I would make one at a party.

Immaculate mixception

The miraculous thing about a Long Island Iced Tea is that when you make it right, it tastes nonalcoholic, despite having five different kinds of liquor in it.

My first attempt failed.

Once I ironed out the glitches? Perfection.

It doesn't actually taste like tea. It's more like a soft drink, especially once the ice melts a little and you start forgetting that you're consuming something that's about 30 percent booze. These were a staple for us in college, thanks to Bruno's, the Uptown mainstay that serves (and continues to serve) ridiculously cheap teas one night a week.

Back in the day, at least, they mixed up large vats so they could pour them quickly. For us special regulars, though, the bartender would make it by hand — one ounce each of vodka, rum, gin, tequila and Triple Sec, then fill the rest with sour mix, topped by a splash of Coke and a lemon slice. Yeah, life was good when the weekend started on Wednesday ...


Manly or Girly? Kinda girly, but a guy can get away with it.
Appearance: Brown, like tea
Consistency: Syrupy
Taste: Sweet and a little sour, nonalcoholic
Stomach acceptance: Fine. Just don't overdo it.
Good drink for: Keeping cool on muggy nights
Hangover factor: High
Would I actually order this in public? For me, these days it's a special occasion drink, such as when I visit New Orleans.

Jet Fuel

The Margaritas were so good that I had to share, the Martinis were for me alone.

My rule with a Martini, it must to cold. No, it must be beyond cold. It must be arctic. I keep martini glasses in the freezer just so the little darlins don't warm up on me.

A good Martini is one that reminds me of jet fuel as I drink it. I hate the idea of Martinis growing warm on me so much that I tend to drink them quickly ... this often leads to trouble ...

Here's What You Need to Make a Martini:

• ice
• shaker
• 2 oz gin
• 1/2 to 1 oz dry vermouth
• olive garnish

Here's How Anne Made the Martini:
Shake briskly, for the small bubbles that cloud the Martini when it is poured are pleasing to me.

Manly or Girly? Manly. Very, very manly
Appearance: Clear
Consistency: Icy
Taste: Jet fuelesque
Stomach acceptance: Good, but the limit is two
Good drink for: Any point of sophistication
Hangover factor: I've never noticed one
Would I actually order this in public? Yes, with Bombay Sapphire, please

Tomorrow's Assignment: Mimosa

Homework:

• Champers
• orange juice
• nice glass
  

Margaritas

I've been around them long before they were popular. My mother was a fan of the Margarita. She would often scoff at other people's Margaritas, "Hmm, tastes like zomeone zimply vaved zee teKEEla bottle in front ov zee blendar," while serving up concoctions that would ooze tequila out of your pores a day after consumption. There has to be a happy medium, and I think this recipe is it. I found it good enough to serve to others.

Certainly, you can taste the tequila, but it's a nice taste (so long as you have good tequila). The alcohol cuts the sweet and sour so that the mixture does not in any way resemble a thickened lemonade as so many Margaritas have become.

Prostole!

Here's What You Need to Make a Margarita:

• 1 oz tequila
• 1/2 oz Triple Sec
• 3 oz sweet and sour
• 1/2 lime
• ice
• shaker
• glass with salt on the rim

Here's How Anne Made the Margarita:
Mix in the shaker, pour in the glass. I skipped the salted rim. I mean, I get it, and it's not bad, but I'd be wasting a lot of salt, really.

Manly or Girly? Girly. Girly name. Consumed by the pitcher by girly types. Guys can drink them, too, but never when on the prowl to meet new women
Appearance: Pale yellow
Consistency: Liquid
Taste: Slightly sour, tequila, sweet, tequila, sour
Stomach acceptance: Slight acidity, but mostly good.
Good drink for: Gaggles of women folk giggling about menfolk before the taco and enchilada platters arrive. Ever notice anyone order a margarita at a bar not attached to a restaurant? I didn't think so
Hangover factor: Si
Would I actually order this in public? With dinner, sure

Next Assignment: Martini

Homework:

• ice
• shaker
• 2 oz gin
• 1/2 to 1 oz dry vermouth
• olive garnish
  

Weights and measures

You see, I'm not one of those "precision" people in the kitchen. If I need to boil something in water, I don't care how much water the instructions tell me to boil — I just fill the pot until it looks like there's enough. I add spices in the "about that much" measurement; even if I cook a frozen pizza, the cook time on the package doesn't match the actual time that I cook the thing.

So I didn't pay much attention to the ounces contained in my shot glasses when mixing drinks. Even if I wasn't pouring precisely 1.5 ounces of bourbon into my highball, for instance, I could still keep the ratios intact.

And then I came to the Long Island Iced Tea and the Hurricane.

Even with the mixers, the concoctions I came up with could've sterilized surgical equipment. So I took it upon myself to determine my shot glasses' volumes, which turned out to be 2 ounces. Which means in both of the drinks mentioned above, I was pouring 10 ounces of alcohol into a 16-ounce drink.

That's not drinking. That's "Leaving Las Vegas" territory. However, I can now say that my steak knives are sterile.

Meh

Bourbon is a pleasant enough drink without adding to it. I mean, some things go well added to the bourbon base such as mint or ginger ale. Sweet vermouth, however, is not my cup of tea. So it's not surprising that I'm opting to give the Manhattan a bit of a miss.

Here's What You Need to Make a Manhattan:

• 1 1/2 oz boubon
• 1/2 oz Sweet Vermouth
  
• Garnish: maraschino cherry

Here's How Anne Made the Manhattan:
Anne went to a bar and asked the nice bartender to make her one.

Manly or Girly? Sounds manly, but is actually girly because 1) it's sweet, and 2) it's got a cherry garnish.
Appearance: Brown
Consistency: Smooth
Taste: Tainted bourbon
Stomach acceptance: The stomach was fine with it
Good drink for: One of those nights when you don't want to drink a lot, because you'll sip, hate yourself for 10 minutes, forget you hate yourself, sip again, repeat.
Hangover factor: Probably
Would I actually order this in public? Probably not when there are so many options out there. If I were at a bar that served only Manhattans, then sure, I'd order one ... and ask to hold the sweet vermouth.

Tomorrow's Assignment: Margarita

Homework:

• 1 oz tequila
• 1/2 oz Triple Sec
• 3 oz sweet and sour
• 1/2 lime
• ice
• shaker
• glass with salt on the rim
  

Niche drinks

First off, I can't think of the Harvey Wallbanger without wondering if it belongs in a Benny Hill skit.

Benny Hill: What will it be today?
Customer: Uh, Harvey Wallbanger.
Benny Hill: What's he do that for? Harvey's got a wife!

Sorry. Had to get that out of my system. (It's funnier if you read it with a British accent?)

Like my sense of humor, the Greyhound and the Harvey Wallbanger are not for everyone. They each have strong, distinct flavors that you'll either really like or simply not care about.

You can make a Greyhound with grapefruit juice and either gin or vodka. I preferred it with vodka. I actually like grapefruit juice, so this went down well, but you can really only drink one or two of these. Otherwise the pucker factor kicks in.

I experimented with the Wallbanger, too: Instead of buying the fancy liqueur or whatever, I picked up a small vial of black walnut flavoring at the grocery store. Mix the vodka and orange juice in a shaker with ice, pour into martini glass, and then drop the flavoring in from on high (just a splash!).

It looks REALLY cool. It swirls and morphs and spins; in my case, it ended up looking like either the planet Jupiter or the Yin-Yang symbol. Or maybe, for you hard-core geeks out there, the Eye of Jupiter supernova from Battlestar Galactica.



It smells good too, but the drink still isn't all that exciting. It's a Screwdriver, basically, and as you drink it the flavoring mixes more and turns the cocktail into a gray blah.

Greyhound
Manly or girly? Neither
Appearance: Pink
Consistency: Juice
Taste: Grapefruit with a kick
Stomach acceptance: Fine
Good drink for: Cocktail parties where you want to look a little adventurous
Hangover factor: Low
Would I actually order this in public? Maybe. But only for the Vitamin C.


Harvey Wallbanger
Manly or girly? Kinda girly, despite the boy name
Appearance: Orange with swirling darkness
Consistency: Juice
Taste: You can taste the vodka separately from the OJ
Stomach acceptance: Bien
Good drink for: Entertaining LSD trippers, Benny Hill jokes
Hangover factor: Low
Would I actually order this in public? No

Visuals for this blog

I know none of us has the skills to take pictures like these, but you should post some snapshots.

It's Becoming a Hard Slog

I made the Mai Tai and stared at it. There it was, all rummy and waiting for me, daring me to drink. I didn't want to.

I did. Sweet rum.

Mai Tai, meet sink.


Here's What You Need to Make a Mai Tai:
I modified the original homework ingredients with another recipe (Orgeat  syrup was difficult to find, much less pronounce.)

• 2 oz light rum (or, 1 oz light rum, 1 oz 151, Alan)
• 1/2 oz Triple Sec
• 2 oz pineapple juice
• Mai Tai mix (so I cheated)
• splash 7-Up
• cherry
  

Here's How Anne Made the Mai Tai:
Pour into a tall glass with cherry on top.

Manly or Girly? Muy girly
Appearance: Pale yellow
Consistency: Like juice with a little 7-Up
Taste: Rummy
Stomach acceptance: Grudgingly
Good drink for: Sitting in the cabana, I suppose
Hangover factor: Oh, yes
Would I actually order this in public? Nope

Tomorrow's Assignment: Manhatten

Homework:

• 1 1/2 oz boubon
• 1/2 oz Sweet Vermouth
  
• Garnish: maraschino cherry

Half-Way Point

The month is half over, and I have to say that I am pleased. Alan has made me laugh out loud with every post that he's put up, even if he's dead wrong about the Cape Codder. (I blame inferior juice.)

I've learned that cream in a cocktail is something best left to the little old ladies (they need their calcium). I've learned that my favorite combinations appear to be juice + alcohol (Bloody Mary, Cape Codder, Fuzzy Navel and Greyhound).The Highball also gets high marks. I figured that I'd be more likely to enjoy the simpler cocktails and I was right.

What say you guys?

One Sip is All I Needed ...

... to want to hurl my glass against a wall. Who the heck invented the Long Island Iced Tea, and did he do it on a dare? Was he trying to clean out the bar of the last booze he had? Had he given up all will to live?

Yeah, this cocktail was not consumed. I tried it. I hated it. I placed my glass on the kitchen floor and mocked the cocktail unmercifully. I insulted its lineage. I cursed it. This was no drink, this was a liquid trash collection.



Here's What You Need to Make a Long Island Iced Tea:

• Shaker
• Ice cubes
• 1 oz vodka
• 1 oz gin
• 1 oz white rum
• 1 oz tequila
• 1/2 oz triple sec
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1/2 cup cola, or to taste
• 2 lemon wedges

Here's How Anne Made the Long Island Iced Tea:
Mix in shaker (careful so that it doesn't eat through a metal one), garnish with lemons, add more cola. Continue adding cola. Give up and throw drink down garbage disposal.

Manly or Girly? Neither. It doesn't taste girly, but it's got too much junk in it to be manly. Plus, it doesn't have a manly name (even when said with irony)
Appearance: Kinda like a cola
Consistency: Bubbiy
Taste: Vile
Stomach acceptance: Not good
Good drink for: Cleaning out the garbage disposal
Hangover factor: Off the charts
Would I actually order this in public? Never

Tomorrow's Assignment: Mai Tai

Homework:

• 1 oz gold rum
• 1 oz dark rum
• 1 oz triple sec
• 1/2 oz lime juice
• 1/2 oz Orgeat (almond) syrup
• Garnish: maraschino cherry, pineapple, mint sprig

 

Balance!

I'm learning so much from doing this blog. For instance, I thought daiquiris were those slushy, stupidly strong beverages you get on Fremont Street and at New Orleans drive-thrus and movie theaters. I didn't know it was actually a cocktail. And I had no idea what a fuzzy navel was, or that it could throw me for such a loop.

So we come to the highball. I thought highball was just a generic term for a mixed drink, but lo and behold, it's a tasty bourbon beverage! It's also a delicate drink, requiring both good ingredients and good mixology.

I used Vernon's ginger ale, mostly because the bottles made it look fancy. After some experimentation, I worked out a formula — three cubes of ice, one shot of bourbon, pour ginger ale over the rest. This produced a very tasty highball where the ale and the bourbon set each other off perfectly. It also, though, sometimes produced a weak, sugary drink. The ginger ale measurement needs to be more precise. At least I won't mind practicing on this one.

Manly or girly? Not quite manly. It's a guy's drink.
Appearance: Slightly darker than a bourbon and seven
Consistency: Fizzy
Taste: When done right, the ginger ale takes off just a bit of the bourbon bite
Stomach acceptance: No problemo
Good drink for: Mingling on the veranda, wedding receptions
Hangover factor: Moderate
Would I actually order this in public? I don't know. I'd feel a little funny ordering anything with ginger ale in it.

Not Worthy of the Name

In our excitement to get to the Cuba Libre, we skipped the Colorado Bulldog, a drink that has as much in common with Colorado or bulldogs as cloud-watching has with heavyweight boxing.

The ingredients are interesting — vodka, Kahlua and Coke, with some recipes also calling for milk or cream. You put equal parts vodka and Kahlua over ice, add the milk and top it off with a splash of Coke. If you decide to make this, go easy on the Kahlua (maybe just half a shot), because the one I made had too much. I might try another one just to see if I can get it right, but that's the only reason why.

Manly or Girly? Girly.
Appearance: Coffee with cream
Taste: Slightly sweet, with a bite from the Coke
Consistency: Creamy, kind of syrupy
Stomach acceptance: Felt kinda heavy down there
Good drink for: I got nothing
Hangover factor: Low. I can't imagine drinking enough of these to get a hangover.
Would I actually order this in public? Nope.

Kool-Aid!

I can't decide whether I like this drink or I don't. Here's the breakdown:

It's super sugary sweet.

But,

It's so super sugary sweet that I can't taste the rum.

I spilled a drop and I swear it stained the counter top within 1/1000th of a second.

But,

It's pretty.

It's sneaky.

And,

It's sneaky.

So, I think I would have another Hurricane, if I were in Pappadeaux and feeling girly and festive and not driving for the next couple of days.

Here's What You Need to Make a Hurricane:

• Shaker
• Ice
• 1 oz rum
• 1 oz light rum
• 2 oz pineapple juice
• 3 oz hurricane mix
• cherry
  

Here's How Anne Made the Highball:
I have mentioned that I'm too cheap to buy two of something when I already have one version in the house, right? So, I didn't buy dark rum. I just used 2 oz of the light rum. It was fine. Watch the mix, though. 3 oz of it was way too much for my drink. I suspect that 2 oz would have been plenty sweet. And, I ended up adding much more pineapple juice into the swirl. So, mix everything except the cherry in the shaker and pour into a glass with ice. Decorate with cherry.

Manly or Girly? Oh, girly. Hey, guys, I know you're in a party atmosphere when you're drinking a Hurricane, but it's a Girly Drink
Appearance: A pulsating, punishing red not often found in nature
Consistency: Syrupy
Taste: Kool-Aid. Fruit Punch. Red. Sugar and a little bit of pineapple
Stomach acceptance: Iffy at best
Good drink for: Stormy weather on the coast where men wear Hawaiian shirts without any sense of irony
Hangover factor: High
Would I actually order this in public? Maybe

Tomorrow's Assignment: Long Island Iced Tea

Homework:

• Shaker
• Ice cubes
• 1 oz vodka
• 1 oz gin
• 1 oz white rum
• 1 oz tequila
• 1/2 oz triple sec
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  
• 1/2 cup cola, or to taste
• 2 lemon wedges

Lip Smackin'

Once again, it's the ingredients that make the cocktail. Most of the Highballs that I've consumed have been fairly bland. They weren't bad, but they were nothing to write home about. Most of the Highballs that I've consumed have had that pale, watered-down, sickly ginger ale. Not this one.


This time I used Maine Root's Ginger Brew, a ginger ale very heavy on the ginger. It's so heavy on the ginger that it makes your lips burn a little and scratches the back of your throat in a very good way.

So, this Highball was delicious. It's so delicious that I think I'll have another.


Here's What You Need to Make a Highball:

• Highball glass
• Ice
• 1 1/2 oz bourbon
• Ginger ale

Here's How Anne Made the Highball:
Mix everything in the glass and enjoy.


Manly or Girly? Neutral
Appearance: Pale, icy
Consistency: Slightly bubbily
Taste: Gingery (if made properly) and ... well, simply yummy
Stomach acceptance: Very, very good for the stomach
Good drink for: Anytime, anywhere
Hangover factor: Possible, I suppose
Would I actually order this in public? I would. I might be disappointed by the ginger ale, but I'd order it again.

Tomorrow's Assignment: Hurricane

Homework:

• Shaker
• Ice
• 1 oz rum
• 1 oz light rum
• 2 oz pineapple juice
• 3 oz hurricane mix
• cherry
  

Harvey, You Done Me Wrong

Hey, did you know that you can't buy a small bottle of Galliano? Nope, you have the buy the $30-worth size. And, sure, it looks very cool on the bar, but it's essentially an Italian version of Jägermeister, and the damned thing will never die.

I have to find some way to use up this stuff ... I mean, aside from actually drinking it.

It's not really bad. kind of mediciney, but it's not oh-my-gawd delicious. Standards for cocktails must have been lower in the 50s and 60s.

Anyway ... the Harvey Wallbanger ... it's a Screwdriver with Galliano on top. Meh. Screwdrivers at their best taste like canned orange juice past its prime to me. Harvey Wallbangers just add an herbal digestive addition to the mix.


Here's What You Need to Make a Harvey Wallbanger:

• 1 oz vodka
• 3 oz orange juice
• 1/2 oz hazelnut liqueur (Galliano)
• 1 slice orange

Here's How Anne Made the Harvey Wallbanger:
Mix the vodka and orange juice. Pour the Galliano on top.


Manly or Girly? I'll go with manly on this one.
Appearance: Orange juice with a clear, pale, yellow strip on top
Consistency: Juice
Taste: Screwdriver at first, but with an herbally aftertaste
Stomach acceptance: It went down fine
Good drink for: Making a bartender hunt for 1) the directions on how to make the cocktail and 2) the Galliano
Hangover factor: Nope
Would I actually order this in public? Only if I'm drinking in a museum

Tomorrow's Assignment: Highball

Homework:

• Highball glass, natch
• Ice
• 1 1/2 oz bourbon
• Ginger ale
  

Hey, You Got Gin in My Grapefruit. You Got Grapefruit in My Gin.

I've been drinking Greyhounds (or, when I'm feeling frisky, Salty Dogs) for years, since an ex-boyfriend introduced them to me on the shore of Lake Michigan ... but I digress.

This is the anti-BCD (Beige Colored Drink). It's 180-degrees from those sweet, gloppy cocktails that should be served in a pudding cup. It's tart. It's aggressive. It's just delicious. It makes me hum "Gin & Juice" whenever I make one.

The Greyhound is not for everyone. You have to like sour. If the taste of grapefruit makes you queasy, this is not a good drink. If, however, you enjoy a taste that's a bit more biting, it's a fine cocktail.

Here's What You Need to Make a Greyhound:

• Ice
  
• 2 oz vodka
• 4 oz grapefruit juice
• lemon or lime wedge for garnish
• Tall glass

Note: To make a Salty Dog, just salt the rim as you would a Margarita.

Here's How Anne Made the Greyhound:
Toss the lemon or lime wedge. Mix everything else in a glass and sit back.


Manly or Girly? Manly. It might have juice as a base, but it's a manly juice
Appearance: Depends on your grapefruit juice. Most folks will get the pale yellow color, but if you can get some Ruby Red juice, it looks almost watermelony
Consistency: Not creamy. Yea for me
Taste: Grapefruity and ginny. Two great tastes that go great together
Stomach acceptance: Pleasantly, but watch the acidity
Good drink for: Sitting on the shore of Lake Michigan (why is it that I want to sit by a large body of water with so many of the drinks that I like?)
Hangover factor: Oh, I truly hope not
Would I actually order this in public? I have before and I will again

Tomorrow's Assignment: Harvey Wallbanger

Homework:

1 oz vodka

3 oz orange juice

1/2 oz hazelnut liqueur (Galliano)

1 slice orange

More Limage

Limes: truly the sluttiest members of the citrus family.

At Least It Wasn't Green

I don't like mint chocolate chip ice cream. That color green is just so wrong that it puts me off. The flavor is fine, but kind of ... meh.

When I had to make a decision to buy the clear or the green food colored creme de menthe, I chose the basic model. And earlier, for the ... heck, I've already forgotten what cocktail used creme de cacao ... Brandy Alexander, that's the one ... I bought brown creme de cacao because my liquor store (Twin Liquors on Brodie ... here's a shout out!) where they are beginning to know me quite well was out of the clear ... good lord, where am I going with this sentence?

Let me start again. I didn't want green creme de menthe. I already had brown creme de cacao, and I'm too cheap to buy two types of creme de cacao. There.

So, I didn't technically make a Grasshopper. I'm going to call it a Cricket. It looked like all the other light brown creamy drinks that I've already consumed this month, but it was minty fresh. Well, no, it wasn't all that minty fresh, because it had cloying cream (I made it with half-and-half, but it was still cloying).

Now I wonder, would I like a grasshopper if it were made without the cream? Quite possible. As it was, it was more like mint chocolate chip ice cream ... meh.



Here's What You Need to Make a Grasshopper:

• Shaker
• Ice
• 1 oz creme de mente (green or clear)
• 1 oz creme de cacao (clear or brown)
• 2 oz cream
• Cocktail glass

Here's How Anne Made the Cricket:
Shake by jumping up and down. Pour into cocktail glass.


Manly or Girly? So very girly
Appearance: Lord, please save me from the beige creamy drinks (henceforth known as BCDs)
Consistency: Creamy, natch
Taste: Very sweet, mint as an aftertaste mostly
Stomach acceptance: Reluctantly
Good drink for: I'm struggling to think of a good environment for the Grasshopper or the Cricket. Nope, I got nuthin'
Hangover factor: Yes, and that would be a horrible hangover
Would I actually order this in public? Nope

Tomorrow's Assignment: Greyhound

Homework:

• Ice
  
• 2 oz vodka
• 4 oz grapefruit juice
• lemon or lime wedge for garnish
• Tall glass
  

I am conflicted, but not ashamed. Really.

This adventure did not start well. The day's recipe called for peach schnapps, which meant I had to acquire some. That's bad. Then I made it worse by going to the ghetto Albertsons down the street, where they keep the liquor locked up and carry the bottle to the front of the store for you so you don't wander the aisles drinking it.

See, when I went to check out, I had to tell the checker, "I've got a bottle of liquor up here somewhere." He said, "What kind?" and I, making eye contact with the cash register, said, "Peach schnapps."

Then I took it home, mixed it with orange juice and made a Fuzzy Navel.

And if I hadn't used the last of my orange juice, I would've had two.

I am as shocked as you are.

This cocktail is downright refreshing and thirst-quenching. If it didn't have alcohol in it, anyone would be proud to drink and serve this with breakfast. In fact, when I pick up some more orange juice, I'm buying some fresh peaches and I'm going to juice the bejesus out of them. They're a good source of niacin, potassium and vitamins A and C, you know, which I'm guessing is not true of the schnapps.

Manly or Girly? Girly
Appearance: OJ
Consistency: Thick juice
Taste: Nectar of the Gods!
Stomach acceptance: More, please
Good drink for: Underage drinkers
Hangover factor: Low
Would I actually order this in public? Not unless I felt like being publicly humiliated

Beige is the New Black

I'm going to throw a beige party. At this beige party, I'm going to serve Brandy Alexanders, B. N.s and Crickets.

I might throw in Toolboxes from my college days.

Beige party.

Fuzzy Teeth

I've lost my self-respect.

I drank the Fuzzy Navel and liked it. I liked something made with Peach Schnapps. I, who used to chomp on the occasional cigar while drinking scotch with the boys, liked the a silly drink complete with cherry. I hate myself.


Here's What You Need to Make a Fuzzy Navel:

• Ice
• 2 oz Peach Schnapps
  
• Orange Juice
  
• Highball glass
• Cherry
  

Here's How Anne Made It:
Put the ice in the glass, add the liquids, mix, decorate with cherry.


Manly or Girly? Girly, girly, girly
Appearance: Like orange juice with a cherry
Consistency: Orange juice
Taste: Tart orange juice, sweet peach. I hate to admit that I liked it, but I did
Stomach acceptance: Yes, please
Good drink for: Girls' night in pajama party
Hangover factor: 50-50 chance
Would I actually order this in public? No. I have a small shred of dignity left

Tomorrow's Other Assignment: Grasshopper

(or a "Cricket" if you're like me and don't feel like buying green Creme de Menthe and only have dark Creme de Cacao)

Homework for tomorrow:

• Shaker
• Ice
• 1 oz Creme de Mente (green or clear)
• 1 oz Creme de Cacao (clear or brown)
• 2 oz cream
• Cocktail glass
  

Island fever

Thanks, Anne, for explaining the transfigurative properties of the lime. Does it extend beyond cocktails? For example, if I squeeze a lime over my morning eggs, do I create a Liberation Omelet? Is lime juice the secret to Freedom Fries?

The lime does a make a difference in the Cuba Libre, making a rum and Coke less oversweet. There's a nice balance to the flavors, and this is a perfect beach drink — pleasant to the taste, providing a cheery buzz while keeping you cool.

I imagine the daiquiri would have the same properties if I'd made it right. Instead of a blender, I shook the rum, Triple Sec and sweet and sour over ice, then poured it into a cocktail glass. Too much sweet and sour (but I followed directions!). I ended up with a syrupy, weak rum drink instead of what should have been a crisp, cooling cocktail. At some point I'll try to improve on that effort.

Cuba Libre
Manly or girly? Neither.
Appearance: Coke with lime.
Consistency: Fizzy.
Taste: All three flavors (Coke, rum, lime) are distinct and complement each other.
Stomach acceptance: It sure did.
Good drink for: Hot summer nights, tropical locations, toasting la revolucion!
Hangover factor: High
Would I actually order this in public? Sure.

Daiquiri
Manly or girly? Kinda girly.
Appearance: Neon, glow-in-the-dark green
Consistency: Mine was syrupy; not sure it was supposed to be
Taste: Weak and flat
Stomach acceptance: Unenthusiastic
Good drink for: If made right, high-end cocktail hours in tropical locations
Hangover factor: Low
Would I actually order this in public? Not likely.

Alan?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMjsIVX8kWs

Wishy-Washy

Well, the Daiquiri looked pretty.

I used too much ice and watered down the cocktail, thus turning out a pretty ho-hum kind of drink. Still, it was fun to crank up the blender. I'll defer to Alan on this one.

 Here's What You Need to Make a Daiquiri:

• Blender
  
• Ice
• 1 1/2 oz Rum (I know, I know, but I'm going to try again)
  
• 1/4 oz Triple Sec (a splash)
  
• 3 oz Sweet and Sour
• Highball glass
  

Here's How Anne Made It:
Blenderized, but with too much ice. How much is too much ice? Two handfuls is too much ice.


Manly or Girly? Depends on your setting. If you're in an island paradise, it's cool and refreshing even for men. If you're on the Las Vegas Strip, it's girly
Appearance: Pale yellow/green slushy
Consistency: Icy
Taste: Mine had a hint of Sweet & Sour and even less of a hint of Rum (which might be a good thing)
Stomach acceptance: No problem whatsoever
Good drink for: Island paradises, anywhere hot
Hangover factor: Possible. Hangovers are more likely with combined alcohol and sugar
Would I actually order this in public? Perhaps ... maybe ...

Tomorrow's Other Assignment: Fuzzy Navel

Homework for tomorrow:

• Ice
• 2 oz Peach Schnapps
  
• Orange Juice
  
• Highball glass
  

Viva la Revolucion! ... or don't ...

This is perhaps not a fair taste test, as I have a Cosmopolitan swimming around in my stomach (OK, AND my brain). Luckily, the Cuba Libre is a simple drink.

And with the Cuba Libre, I attempt to make my peace with rum.

It was the early 90s, I was in college, I was stupid, there was this stuff called "Malibu," did I mention that I was stupid? Let's just say that there was a bad night followed by a worse morning. And, I know that real rum and Malibu are not the same. Malibu will never again pass my lips. But, the two are cousins, and one was enough to put me off of the whole family.

So ... *more sipping* ... eh. I taste the rum and my lizard brain recoils in horror. OK, I can drink a Cube Libre. It's just that I'm probably not going to. 

Here is my grand revelation for tonight. If you add half the juice of a lime to a drink, it gets a spiffy name. Rum and Coke is just Rum and Coke, but you add lime and it's a Cuba Libre. Vodka and cranberry is a girly drink that Alan will never drink again, but add lime to it and it's a Cape Codder and Anne will consume mass quantities.

It's all about the lime.

 Here's What You Need to Make a Cuba Libre:

• Highball glass
• Ice
• 1 1/2 oz Rum
• Coca Cola
• Lime
  

Here's How Anne Made It:
Put everything into the glass and stir.


Manly or Girly? In the middle
Appearance: Looks like a tall, refreshing soda
Consistency: Bubbily
Taste: First taste, Coca Cola. Second taste, a bit of lime. Third taste, the sting of rum, my old enemy
Stomach acceptance: Weak Cuba Libres will be accepted. Strong ones will not
Good drink for: Someone else
Hangover factor: Please, no, not again!
Would I actually order this in public? On a dare, yes

Tomorrow's Other Assignment: Break out the blender, kids, it's Daiquiri time!

Homework for tomorrow:

• Blender
  
• Ice
• 1 1/2 oz Rum (I know, I know, but I'm going to try again)
  
• 1/4 oz Triple Sec (a splash)
  
• 3 oz Sweet and Sour
• Highball glass
  

Two Days Behind, Two Cocktails in Front of Me

Oh, ick. Am I two days behind? I think I am. Don't ask me, I've been sampling cocktails.

First up, the Cosmopolitan.

Note: I HATE 'Sex and the City.' I tried to watch one or two episodes. Blech. "Oh, I'm a columnist in New York buying Jimmy Choo." Lies, all lies.

But, that's no reason to hate the Cosmopolitan.

It's not bad. It's not a lightweight drink, that's for sure. This is something for the big girls. But there's just something inheriently ... pretentious ... about this drink that turns me off. Maybe it is because of the New York girls.


Here's What You Need to Make a Cosmopolitan:

• Shaker with ice
  
• 1 oz Vodka
• 1 oz Orange Liqueurs or Cointreau
  
• Cranberry juice
• Rock glass

Here's How Anne Made It:
Shake. Pour. Drink.


Manly or Girly? Girly. You cannot order this unless you're a girl or a 'fuck-all-of-y'all' gay man Appearance: Red, slightly cloudy with the lime juice
Consistency: Liquid
Taste: Mmm, how to describe ...? *sip* There's some orangey taste to it ... *sip* ... but not overwhelmingly orangey ... *sip* ... s'good ... what did I say earlier about pretentious?
Stomach acceptance: First one is fine, but I don't trust myself with too many
Good drink for: Being labeled as a desperately sad stereotype wannabe
Hangover factor: Oh, yes, I could see it happen
Would I actually order this in public? Being the iconoclast that I am ... no

Tomorrow's Today's Other Assignment: Cuba Libre

Homework for ... right now:

• Highball glass
• Ice
• 1 1/2 oz Rum
• Coca Cola
• Lime
  

Crimony, Where Am I?

Behind, that's where.

I have cocktails to make in order to to catch up ...

(See what happens when you go traveling over the Labor Day weekend?)

Cosmo-POW!

This is the Sex and the City drink, right? I guess that makes it special, so I'm busting out one of the martini glasses for its inaugural drink:


I'd say it lives up to its reputation, too. The last time I saw someone drink Cointreau, she ended up dancing naked in front of a mirror while her boyfriend and I tried to pick our jaws up off the floor.

But I digress.

This is one serious cocktail, despite its girly reputation. I mixed an ounce or so each of Cointreau and vodka, added ice and poured cranberry juice over the rest. I'm about a third of the way through and already my brain is buzzing. That Cointreau is wicked stuff, but it mixes well with the cranberry juice for a cocktail that's neither overly sweet nor too dry.

Alcohol taking over. Better make this quick.

Manly or Girly? Girly
Appearance: Sangria red.
Taste: Citrus, with an alcohol background.
Consistency: Like a cocktail.
Stomach acceptance: Smooth and easy.
Good drink for: Grown-up girls' night out; getting her back to your place
Hangover factor: High.
Would I order this in public? Not for myself, but for lady, sure.

Lame

This drink has a special name?

It's a vodka-cranberry, or vodka-cran.

Yeah, Anne, it NEEDS an umbrella, because there's nothing interesting about this drink.

"Cape Codder." Pffft. Keep it.

Manly or Girly? I'll go with Mr. French on this one (The Departed): "What is it, your period?"

Appearance: Red, with ice.

Consistency: It's juice.

Taste: Dry. Almost puckery.

Stomach acceptance: Like I said, it's juice.

Good drink for: The Great Gatsby.

Hangover factor: Low. It's juice.


Would I actually order this in public? Not unless I was ready to crack someone's head open with the glass. (See: The Departed.)

Gimme!

I heart the Cape Codder.

It's pretty (the paper umbrella is for you, Alan), not too sweet, crisp, clean, New Englandy. All good stuff. And it was delightful after an evening of football and Tex-Mex at El Patio (best queso on the planet).

Here's What You Need to Make a Cape Codder:

• Highball glass filled with ice
• 1 1/2 oz vodka
  
• Cranberry juice
  
• Slice of lime for garnish
  

Here's How Anne Made It:
Mix the vodka and the cranberry juice in the glass (not necessarily a highball glass). Instead of a lime garnish, I added a splash of lime juice ... and a paper umbrella for Alan.


Manly or Girly? Neutral
Appearance: Cranberry and cool
Consistency: Liquid
Taste: Slightly tart. The addition of some lime juice was splendid!
Stomach acceptance: The stomach welcomed the Cape Codder with open ... um, well, not arms, but you know what I mean. Stomach needed a break from cream
Good drink for: Drinking on the patio, overlooking a large body of water
Hangover factor: Not too bad
Would I actually order this in public? Yes, please!

Tomorrow's Assignment: Cosmopolitan

Homework for tonight:

• Shaker with ice
  
• 1 oz Vodka
• 1 oz Orange Liqueurs or Cointreau
  
• Cranberry juice
• Rock glass
  

False advertising

I'm a big fan of butter and nipples, and this shot had neither.

Also, I never knew that butterscotch schnapps is clear.

This shot is candy. You could freeze it and use it as a Popsicle. Make it a little gooier, and it's filling for a chocolate candy or a cake. Buttery nipple frosting! That'll get the party started.

I mixed mine well. It wasn't too sweet, and the butterscotch flavor didn't overpower. But good lord, I shouldn't even be writing that I had one.


Manly or Girly? Beyond girly. We're talking unicorns and rainbows.

Appearance: Cream

Consistency: Like buttah

Taste: See above.

Stomach acceptance: Yum, desert!

Good drink for: Any group of giggling, college-age women

Hangover factor: I bet it's high, actually. These go down easy and sneak up on you.

Would I actually order this in public? Hell no. And not in private, either.

Buttery Nipple

(Heretofore known as B.N., as I am a prude and cannot believe anyone would ever call a drink ... that.)

OK, the B.N. ... I now know why it's popular with people who don't like the taste of alcohol ... BECAUSE THERE'S NO TASTE OF ALCOHOL. There's no sting. There's no warning hum in the back of your throat that tells you that you've just consumed something dangerous. It's just ... sweet. Sickly, sticky, kinda icky sweet, but just sweet. If I had liked this kind of thing in college, I could have gotten into a lot of trouble.

Here's What You Need to Make a B.N.:

• ice
• 1 oz Butterscotch schnapps
  
• 1 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
  
• shaker
• glass
  

Here's How Anne Made It:
Ice, schnapps, Bailey's into the shaker. Shake. Pour into glass. Keep away from children.


Manly or Girly? Girly to the max
Appearance: Much like many of the drinks consumed this week, kind of taupe-y
Consistency: Creamy
Taste: Deceptively sweet
Stomach acceptance: I think a few of these would have the same effect on my stomach as eating half a cheesecake doused with Everclear
Good drink for: Getting a sorority girl drunk
Hangover factor: I envision great misery in the morning
Would I actually order this in public? I couldn't form the words to order it

Tomorrow's Assignment: Cape Codder

Homework for tonight:

• Highball glass filled with ice
• 1 1/2 oz Vodka
• Cranberry juice
  
• Slice of lime for garnish
  

Wimp

Come on, Alan. I drank the damned Brandy Alexander. You could have, too.

Brandy AlexANNEder (Sorry, I couldn't resist)

Three cocktails in, and I'm already sick of those that have creamy consistency. This is not good.

Mind you, the Brandy Alexander looks pretty, and it's easy to make. And, this cocktail did allow me to learn an important lesson about dairy products. One of the ingredients of the cocktail is cream. You cannot buy "cream" at the local Randall's. You can buy "heavy whipping cream," and just the thought of "heavy" made my stomach say "no." So, I thought that perhaps half-and-half would do the job.

This was not a bad idea.

Then I saw "fat-free half-and-half."

This was a bad idea.

I know that fat-free half-and-half is a lie. It cannot truly exist. Cream by its nature has fat in it. I know this. I know it. But, I had not experienced it. See, there's a difference between knowing a thing with your brain, and knowing it with your gullet. The gullet wanted proof.

I bought the fat-free half-and-half.

Mixing up the drink was fine, and I somehow managed to forget that I had purchased a paradoxical dairy product.

My first thought in the drinking ... "Watery."

Lesson learned. Ingredients make or break a cocktail. But, I still say that the drink would have worked with half-and-half.

Here's What You Need to Make a Brandy Alexander:

• ice
• 1 oz brandy
• 1 1/2 oz cream
• 1/2 oz brown creme de cacao
• shaker
• chilled cocktail glass
  

Here's How Anne Made It:
Substitute fat-free half-and-half for the cream, pour all the ingredients into the shaker. Shake. Pour into cocktail glass and wonder how dairy producers can get away with such an obvious lie.


Manly or Girly? Fairly girly
Appearance: Weak chocolate milk
Consistency: Depends on what kind of cream you use, really
Taste: Sweet, but not too sweet. Taste-wise, it wasn't that bad
Stomach acceptance: Cream would have sat in my stomach and pouted, half-and-half was better
Good drink for: Fall, indoor bar with wood paneling, as a dessert
Hangover factor: Very little. Dessert drinks are not consumed to the point of hangoveredness
Would I actually order this in public? I might. I'm not super-enthused by the Brandy Alexander, but it's not too bad. I'd recommend it to some of my wimpier friends who don't like the taste of alcohol

Tomorrow's Assignment (and I can't believe I'm saying this): Buttery Nipple

Homework for tonight:

• ice
• 1 oz Bailey's
• 1 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
  
• rock glass
  

Bloody Mary-ita

A good Bloody Mary could be the work of a lifetime. Finding the right balance of spices, incorporating unconventional ingredients, perhaps even growing your own organic tomatoes and distilling your own vodka to get it ... Absolutely. Perfect.
Naturally, I just threw mine in the blender.

The idea came after I added the tomato juice to the vodka and ice. The vodka-ed down juice looked alarmingly similar to blood splatter from a certain era of Italian horror movies, and naturally blenders came to mind.

I won't share the picture because it went from looking like fake blood to puke. In a glass, it was a dark red smoothie — still not visually appealing, but cold and very tasty.

I went a little overboard with the Tabasco. Spicy is good, but this overpowered other flavors. I've never been much of one for hangovers or Bloody Marys, but this bears some additional experiments, none of them involving blenders.

Manly or Girly? EOB (Equal Opportunity Buzz)

Appearance: See above.

Consistency: Smoothie.

Taste: Cold, spicy tomato soup.

Stomach acceptance: No worries, but it's making its spicy presence known.

Good drink for: Sunday morning coming down

Hangover factor: Too late. You're already hung over.

Would I actually order this in public? If the weekend of Oct. 2 goes as expected, you can probably find me with one in Igor's on St. Charles Avenue around 11 a.m.

Bloody Mary Anne

Ah, the breakfast of champions. Is there anything easier than the traditional Bloody Mary? (Well, I needed something simple after yesterday's experiment gone wrong ... Don't try to make me feel better, Alan. It won't work.)

But, back to the elegant simplicity and acidity of the Bloody Mary. Tomato juice and vodka. The rest is just window dressing. It's a good combo, easily tailored to specific tastes. For example, my friend Andy probably has his so loaded down with black pepper that he has to chew his drink. I like mine lemony and salty. This is truly a no-fail cocktail and my hat is off to it.

The only problem with a Bloody Mary is that it's part soup. There's a lot of volume taken up by non-alcohol, so you're not going to get hammered without a lot of effort. There's a reason why the college kids aren't known for the Bloody Mary parties.

Here's What You Need to Make a Bloody Mary:

• 1 1/2 ounces (1 jigger) vodka
• 1/2 cup tomato juice
• 1 lemon (1 wedge, and 2 teaspoons juice)
  
• Worcestershire sauce to taste
• Tabasco to taste
• salt
• pepper
• 1 celery stick for garnish
• ice
• shaker
• tall glass
  

Here's How Anne Made It:

Put the vodka, juices, Worcestershire, Tabasco, salt, pepper and ice into a shaker. Shake. Pour into a tall glass with ice and wedge of lemon and celery stick as garnish. Or, squeeze all that lemony goodness into the drink and skip the wedge.

Grading

• Manly vs Girly: Red, thick, spicy. That's manly
• Appearance: Red and thick. The green celery peeping through just makes me think of Christmas
  
• Consistancy: Somewhere just to the left of thick
• Taste: Tomato, lemon, salt ... essentially gazpacho
  
• Stomach Acceptance: Good times
  
• Would I Order This in a Bar: Absolutely, but only before noon
  
• Would I Drink This Again: Certainly
  
• Hangover: Low potential. There's such a high tomato juice to vodka cocktail that I can't imagine drinking enough Bloody Mary's to get a hangover. Plus, isn't all that Vitamin C supposed to be good for combating hangovers?
  

Tomorrow's Assignment: Brandy Alexander

Homework for tonight:

• ice
• 1 oz brandy
• 1 1/2 oz cream
• 1/2 oz brown creme de cacao
• shaker
• chilled cocktail glass
  

B-52, Beavis edition

Anne, I found several recipes that called for Grand Marnier, so I don't think you were led astray.
I made this slightly differently. Instead of pouring over a spoon, I tilted the shot glass and very slowly poured the Bailey's and the Grand Marnier in directly from the bottle. There was a little mixing of the the top two layers, but it came out fine:


For the second one I tried the spoon method and got a mixture — and a mess.

Now, the more alert among you might notice Carly's favorite liquor, Bacardi 151, sitting there in the background. "What's that doing there?" you're asking. "That's not an ingredient!"

But it can be. There's a flaming version of this shot, which I tried to make by slowly pouring the 151 on top of the liquor soup. It mixed too, so I didn't get much of a flame:


However, I neglected to read ALL of the instructions. You're supposed to drink this version through a straw, since the flame makes the glass so hot it'll burn your lips if you try to shoot it. I dumped it into the other glass, creating a soupy tan mess. The shot is definitely better in layers.

So, the lowdown:

Manly or Girly? Girly-ish. There's a lot of alcohol in there.

Appearance: When done right, layers of tan and brown. When done improperly, weak chocolate milk.

Consistency: Almost creamy.

Taste: A nice balance of sweetness and booze bite.

Stomach acceptance: Just fine.

Good drink for: Someone's birthday, a turning-21 celebration, or a bachelorette party.

Hangover factor: Probably high, if you do a few of them.

Would I actually order this in public? No. But I would drink one if a round came my way.

B-52 (or a close proximity to one)

OK, this is a horrible thing to admit in the first post, but I did it wrong.
See, a real B-52 consists of layers of Kahlua, amaretto, then Irish cream. I followed a recipe by Jay, and Jay lies. My version had Kahlua, Irish cream and then Grand Marnier. I don't know what I was drinking, but it wasn't a B-52.

I do know that when you layer Kahlua and something else, say, amaretto or even Grand Marnier, with Irish cream on top, then it looks like it's two-thirds brown topped by one-third beige. When you layer Kahlua, Irish cream and then Grand Marnier (thanks again, Jay), the top layer comes out looking ... stormy. On the plus side, the Grand Marnier was a good aftertaste. On the negative side, anything that contains Bailey's is going to make be want to brush my teeth, tongue, esophagus and stomach 10 seconds after swallowing. Surprisingly, the Kahlua didn't make much of an appearance to my tastebuds.

Here's What You Need to Make What Anne Made:

• 1/3 oz Kahlua
• 1/3 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
• 1/3 oz Grand Marnier
• shot glass
• spoon

Here's How Anne Made It:
Layer the liquors, Kahlua, Bailey's, Marnier. Pour over the back of the spoon to keep the layers separate. Or, forget the spoon, because the Bailey's and Marnier will mix up anyway.



Grading

• Manly vs Girly: Girly
• Appearance: Even after attempting to pour each layer gently, I managed to get a muddy swirly of Bailey's and Gran Marnier. Kahlua sat all by itself on the bottom and grumbled a bit
  
• Consistancy: Creamy
• Taste: Sweet. Bailey's first, Grand Marnier aftertaste
• Stomach Acceptance: Slightly brick-like
• Would I Order This in a Bar: I don't think I could
• Would I Drink This Again: Doubtful
  
• Hangover: High potential

Anyone else have anything else to say about the B-52 (Anne's version or real)? No? Right, then. Tomorrow, we move on to the wonderful world of Bloody Marys.





Tomorrow's Assignment: Bloody Mary

Homework for tonight:

• 1 1/2 ounces (1 jigger) vodka
• 1/2 cup tomato juice
• 1 lemon (1 wedge, and 2 teaspoons juice)
  
• Worcestershire sauce to taste
• Tabasco to taste
• salt
• pepper
• 1 celery stick for garnish
• ice
• shaker
• tall glass