Tuesday, September 15, 2009

One Sip is All I Needed ...

... to want to hurl my glass against a wall. Who the heck invented the Long Island Iced Tea, and did he do it on a dare? Was he trying to clean out the bar of the last booze he had? Had he given up all will to live?

Yeah, this cocktail was not consumed. I tried it. I hated it. I placed my glass on the kitchen floor and mocked the cocktail unmercifully. I insulted its lineage. I cursed it. This was no drink, this was a liquid trash collection.



Here's What You Need to Make a Long Island Iced Tea:

  • Shaker
  • Ice cubes
  • 1 oz vodka
  • 1 oz gin
  • 1 oz white rum
  • 1 oz tequila
  • 1/2 oz triple sec
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1/2 cup cola, or to taste
  • 2 lemon wedges

Here's How Anne Made the Long Island Iced Tea:
Mix in shaker (careful so that it doesn't eat through a metal one), garnish with lemons, add more cola. Continue adding cola. Give up and throw drink down garbage disposal.

Manly or Girly? Neither. It doesn't taste girly, but it's got too much junk in it to be manly. Plus, it doesn't have a manly name (even when said with irony)
Appearance: Kinda like a cola
Consistency: Bubbiy
Taste: Vile
Stomach acceptance: Not good
Good drink for: Cleaning out the garbage disposal
Hangover factor: Off the charts
Would I actually order this in public? Never








Tomorrow's Assignment: Mai Tai
Homework:
  • 1 oz gold rum
  • 1 oz dark rum
  • 1 oz triple sec
  • 1/2 oz lime juice
  • 1/2 oz Orgeat (almond) syrup
  • Garnish: maraschino cherry, pineapple, mint sprig
 

2 comments:

Alan said...

Had you really never had a Long Island Iced Tea before?

Anne said...

No, why? Is this some kind of universal joke that slipped by me?